pages

can never keep up with the thought stream, but I like to see what emmerges. I love this space so much- the silence. hear and here. I hope I can be in the desert next year. This is place is pretty dark, I only get early morning light, and then tree diffused light the rest of the day. Dappled, cast green. I love the way that light spills under the edges of the curtains and all of my books piled up around me. So lovely. More drawings are under way.

"Sol did not in my experience collaborate on his ideas. Those were private considerations. As generous and collaborative as Sol was, he was also extremely private, internal, and silent. No small talk. This combination of disciplined internal creativity and enormous generosity of spirit is the the Sol Lewitt that I know."
C Venezia

complexity/simplicity
consistancy/diversity
intellectual/visceral
rational/intuitve
surface/layers

from a notebook 2012

shhh

Five years ago I was in Mesa Verde in the snow. I'm still making drawings from the ideas that emerged from that time. The west is hard wired into me. I am in a period of working, drawing, and staying still. It's getting to me.  The winter stillness has not been peaceful. I need to protect and cultivate my solitary studio time. Everything feels stuck and uninspired, but I have to keep coaxing it anyway. Teasing it out- lowering the standards right? I hate that feeling. 

fear/failure

I have this idea that if I could just do the basic things everyday, that I would feel like less of a failure. It's a fallacy. I think the idea of failure or success has more to do with mood, or expectations. I know even on the weeks and months when I am in a groove, then the failure becomes less about getting there, and more about what happens in the practice, (take your pick.)

But... fear of failure or dread of failure does seem to be a constant companion. It starts and stops the most amazing things. It's just fear though, no need to make such a big deal about it. It's real, it's there, it's not going anywhere.

don't be careful

Happy 2013!