the record 9/29-10/6

ink on paper 2013

September 29-October 6th
Hello, how was your week? This is a way for me to capture some of the things that I've done and thought about, read and listened to each week. Things to look forward to and back at.

• I worked with Michael to get elevations and surveying on my clients property in the East Mountains. I will work with the client on minimal aesthetic choices that create focal points in a 10 acre property. These include groves of trees, stone boulder groupings and Japanese inspired pathways.

• I am starting to expand on my design philosophy as a way to hone the way that I discuss and approach talking to clients, reading a site and discerning the spatial and planting potential of each site and client. The intent is to listen- to the spoken and unspoken desires of the project owner, expanding the possibilities of what would work, and what they don't know they want. By looking at the whole project or site, style of architecture, lifestyle, present and future goals we can create a design that is timeless, grows well, settles in and fits well.

• I finished a 40x40 inch drawing, it's up on the wall. Its a big looming form. It catches me by surprise. I'm excited to have some work under my hand. So lovely.

• I need to find a photographer for the library project.
• I'm so excited to think about writing and publishing as a way of research that is separate from academia. That I drive, that I decide on. 
• We started a mastermind group to keep each other accountable and motivated, as well as working towards collaborative projects and competitions, we can each start working on articles, books and side hustles to support the cause. The cause is to have a profitable business. 
• I made my first turquoise square ring last week. It's not perfect, but i like it. I want to make about 20, and then post them on instagram for sale.
• I am writing morning pages, and I can feel a shift, a deepening, a commitment to my work and my life. Things are coming forth to meet me. What you sing to, comes.

Listening:

I listen to a ton of podcasts each week, when I'm driving, walking, working on production and filling time. I'd like to be more intentional and at least recap what I am learning and hearing, rather than just consume information because it is interesting and keeps me company. I listen to 2 ultra endurance based podcasts, as well as poetry, process, business and personal interviews. I would say that most of what I like to listen to is personally challenging. To be more consistent at working out, eating whole food and plant based, consistent in my drawing and yoga practice, and consistent in my business. I'm in my first year, and it is very easy to get discouraged. The learning curve is steep, it requires a lot of humility and patience. I am learning to ask for help. But listening to other folks in the trenches is really helpful too. As Chris Hauth says " You've got to do the work."

• The Moment, Bryan Koppelman | Steve Gorman | Black Keys drummer who just published a memoir
• Rich Roll Podcast | Ryan Holliday new book Stillness is the Key, I had never heard him describe his writing method before- he uses boxes and index cards that have a keyword at the top, I want to use that system for studying and for writing my first article on the library. There is something about the physical accumulation of cards and facts that appeals to me. I can shuffle them around in real space. I can see the gaps and themes, It will get me out of my head, and onto graspable notes. I can make boxes for each article and book that I write.
• Finding Mastery | Apollo Ohno- On competition and life, very interesting conversation, I remember watching him dominate in the winter olympics. Strong visualization techniques, In addition to being dedicated at practice he focused on mental toughness.
• Tim Ferris | David Allen | 384- The art of getting things done. He promotes getting things out of your head. 

 "That process takes, usually, in my experience over all these years, for the mid- to senior level professional that we actually coach with this process, it takes one to six hours, just to capture what has their attention. Not to organize it. Not to prioritize it. Not to make decisions about it. Just to identify it."

• Tim Ferris | Safi Bahcall | 382 - Hypnosis and incentives. Really fascinating insights through hypnosis, on focus and conquering insomnia. I want to try it with someone in ABQ.
• Metta Hour with Sharon Salzburg - Marc Lesser the seven principles. This really hit me. I loved the principles, and have them on my desk.

1. Love the work
2. Do the work
3. Don't be an expert
4. Connect to your pain
5. Connect to the pain of others
6. Depend on others 
7. Keep making it simpler

Reading: (in progress)

• Old Buildings, New Designs- Architectural Transformations | Charles Bloszies
• From Concept to Form in Landscape Design | Grant Reid
• Site Engineering for Landscape Architecture | Steven Strom
• The Professional Practice of Landscape Architecture | Walter Rogers

Numbers: 

Yoga  x 20 2

Walking x 30 4

Drawing 

Finished one

40 x 40 started

30 x 30 started

Morning pages x 45

3

Instagram daily average 104 minutes

the record
July 1-7

• Dogs make a road trip better. I drove from PA to NM, and it was slower than I wanted it to be, but better because I had to stop every couple of hours and take a little break.

• Things take as long as they take. I worked with my dad and Jay to install hardwood flooring into Frank's place. I love working on projects like this, because they force precision in an early 19th c brick row home that has quirky walls and floors. We worked with 4" wide oak, each piece was so beautiful and had some knots. I tried to take it as it came off of the pile, not placing too many. It will outlast all of us- it demands attention, slowness and steadiness. 

• So much to read - Looking forward to diving into some reading and writing this summer.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/06/26/books/best-memoirs.

have faith

have faith in what you immediately recognize,
in the particular longings that you feel.

facing a sheer sky. slow things down. be really clear, failure is okay.

you are my still lake

our bodies are permeable. so being in that quality of light is such an experience. the light penetrates -we are made of water and light particles
always feel it and respond to it.
white on vellum
translucent opacities
wall painting
white on white

how much space can a line hold before it disintegrates?  good at getting in the body. transfer of energy. space. breath. thinking about marfa and frozen cornstalks, colors of AW and the desert, tea gesso charcoal.

what is the attentive presence?
do I get there at my house? Drawing is such a relief, It can be mine for a long time. I can sit with this for a while. I want this work to record and trigger a body response, a memory, an emotion.

Something about the looking can be as deep as the love. that it can carry you. It's so amazing to be here, in a relationship with so much space. Back in yoga-- 6 weeks or 7. Drawing. In meetings with the city about art and water. I love these days in the studio where we get to think about and ask central questions. (clear mind, wild heart)

I love the scratchy, searching, nervy line- love being this quiet and watchful. What is it? I hope I provide that space for my friends and my students. Tomorrow, back to smaller scale-- how much space? What is the ephemeral? How much is enough? Seams of bones knitting together, an abutment, fraying, disintegrating.

Skies, lying down, looking at birds in flight
fluid city, art practice.

with nothing to opose we have nothing to grab hold of.

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weekly recap

I flew in from France on Tuesday, I went there for 3 weeks to fulfill my last three credits for it was a Master in landscape architecture degree. Paris was magic, but it was also one of the rainiest springs on the record.

currently reading

When I need a break from writing and learning new programs and screen time, I dip into Oudolf Hummelo and remember why I'm taking all this work on. I love looking at plants outside, huge grasses, huge agaves, black striped mesquite trees and creosote bushes. 

I just discovered one of Oudolf's inspirations. Mien Ruys (1904- 1999). Her garden is still open to the public in Dedemsvaart- the Mien Ruys Tuin. I've just added it to the long list of places to visit. 

I have been doing some free writing sessions for my thesis topic. Trying to wrangle it in to something manageable and absorbing. The focus will be on urban design- walking and idiosyncratic space. I realized I've been designing shade structures since I arrived in this program. I live in Albuquerque, the sun is so intense out here. There is so much opportunity to play with light and shadow here.

It's been a lonely time this fall, so interesting to be in my third year of the program. Three years of intense, absorbing work, both within Landscape Architecture, and my own art, life and yoga. I don't really have a social life- (not that I ever did, except for maybe the Philly years) but here, it has been interesting to spend so much time alone again. A huge relief in a way, and waiting it out in others. I talk to the J's at least weekly it seems, so that helps too. I feel sorry for them, a little, because they have to survive my torrent of ideas, observations and state of being... There's a Rumi line that keeps circling about loneliness. It keeps me in my studio, or in my writing.

Don't surrender your loneliness 
So quickly 
Let it cut more deep. Let it ferment and season you 
As few human 
Or even divine ingredients can 
Something missing in my heart tonight 
Has made my eyes so soft, 
My voice 
So tender, 
My need of God 
Absolutely 
Clear. 

"The trouble with you is you think you have time." Jack Kornfield. the trick is to keep everything in check, to let the stress roll off of me, not to hold it, not to let things affect my work/ vision and attitude. To take the long view, to be resiliant, deep like a well, so that if a pebble was dropped into it, it would fall silently with barely a ripple. (another zen poet, maybe suzuki roshi?)
Have a good day, poets lovers, Generals.

claim your ground

ink on paper part 1

2013

untitled (reverb)

The studio is sacred space

claim your stance- claim your ground. Some things should be off limits until you are ready for feed back or scrutiny. 

watch the timing

be careful what you ask for. (and when) 

If a careless person comes into your space, you have a couple of options.

...you can make them tea

...you can ask them to leave

...you can leave

the most important thing to remember is that it is your work, your process, your space, you. This process requires vulnerability, not everyone can be that generous at any given moment, and might say something that shifts the mood-- that beautiful and precarious tight rope that art making requires. Sometimes people forget how demanding that psychic space is, so part of the learning is to protect yourself. To demand respect. To surround yourself with allies, like Guston, like Brady, like Twombly and Deibenkorn. Like your own amazing work. Your drawings, your sculptures, the things that you love, that are home for you. That send you out. Get gone on the investigation. 

seduce 

cajole

praise

be generous

make tea

but by any means necessary, get yourself some solitary space. It took me a long time to understand that, to understand that it was a necessity for me. That the protective energy required in a shared space was never worth it. We are distracted /distracting enough on our own.  We should not have to fight for it with anyone else.

And one thing for the weekend:
aha moment

this is the life

"this is the life" my best friend said, as we sweated and cut and hacked away a bank full of brambles and vines. To be able to have time to work together, to make ceramics and drawings and bracelets is an amazing gift.
I am back in Pennsylvania for the summer, adjusting to the intense humidity after living in Albuquerque for 9 months. I had heat exhaution twice since coming back. But I think I am figuring it out now.